Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
