U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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