apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
