I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
