Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize