It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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