We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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