Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
