they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just cut my nipple shaving
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
