I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize