nut hugger
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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