it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
