there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Randomize
