Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
