Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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