Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
