hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
