he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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