I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
