his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
ok first of all what the fuck
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
