you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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