Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
