He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
