so that wasnt chicken after all
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
