We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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