It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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