Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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