I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
