Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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