so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
