I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
