I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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