we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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