so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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