Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
