so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
