i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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