so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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