Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
