two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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