Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
