its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
where does the pee come out of this thing
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
