I wannas sexs uuuuu
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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