He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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