felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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