There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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