Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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