Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
