real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
