piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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