Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
wow bdsm is so cute
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
