I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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