In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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