someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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