gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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