Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
