Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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