You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
