I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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