By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize