I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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