Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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