Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just invented taco cereal.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
