I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ladies don't puke and tell
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
