when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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